


Mining, Fining, and a Whole Lot of Pining

by wellthizizdeprezzing



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst?, F/F, Fake Dating, Friends With Benefits, Includes mentions of a mine and some fines, Therapy, but really it's all about the pining, two idiots in love, violence against mirrors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-08-10 02:50:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16461968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthizizdeprezzing/pseuds/wellthizizdeprezzing
Summary: Regina is helplessly in love with the savior who is helplessly engaged to the pirate. Regina attempts to make do with what she has but matters of love were never easy for her.





	1. The First Part of a Tragedy

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Back with more Swanqueen-this one with more angst than my other ones. This story skips back and forth a lot with time and memories so it might be a bit hard to follow the plot line but it's done this way on purpose so as to more accurately portray Regina's own confusion and frustration with this whole experience.

They had an understanding, the savior and her. An understanding born out of a misunderstanding. It had all started from that one night when Emma came over to Regina in tears and drunk on something akin to sorrow and heartache and cheap, cheap whiskey. Or no, not then. It had all started much earlier on and now that Regina had a moment for retrospect- had a safe place to speak these words out loud, she knew it had not begun on that night, but on a day so very long ago.

"When?" Archie presses and once upon a time Regina might have slit his throat for daring to ask her how she felt, for daring to assume she had feelings, had a weakness. But she is not that same woman from so many decades ago, from worlds ago. She is reformed and what that entitles is a kinder attitude, the amicability of her constituents, and apparently a great deal of pain. She had lost the prickly defenses of the Evil Queen around her heart and she wanted them back. Wanted to stem the aching in her heart that suffused her body, permeated her every thought sleeping or awake. But no matter how hard she tried to call them back it was no use.

"I think it started from the moment she stepped foot on my doorstep all those years ago," Regina slowly commences, eyes glazing over as she flicks back to the past, peels back the layers of memories and emotions and actions there. She rubs her hands up and down her thighs in a nervous manner because even though she's been going to therapy for a while now, even though she's made great progress with herself, she has been afraid to poke at the sleeping bear, to talk about the elephant in the room that is weighing on her chest and suffocating her under tons and tons of repressed feelings on this topic.

And the funny thing, is for all the things Regina has forgotten over the years, her memories of Emma rarely have faded, have barely lost their strength or clarity. That day when Henry brought his birth mother onto the doorstep of her mansion, of her perfect world. That day everything she had pieced together meticulously had shattered one by one in face of a dimpled smile, endless resolution and stubbornness that brought their heated antagonism to a boiling pitch that ended in lots of cross words, angry rejoinders, and almost petty efforts to bring each other down. Regina wanted to push and push, to see how much or how little it would take to chase Emma out. And Emma wanted to infuriate, wanted to rupture the perfect bubble of Storybrooke and she succeeded. She ruined everything for Regina- took Henry, destroyed the curse, turned to shambles Regina's power and stability and hope for her own happy ending. She took Robin from her, took her mother away from her too - right before Emma made it consummate in her own manner- Henry loving her again, the town respecting her and forgiving her for her past crimes, having a makeshift family with the Charmings. All in a way that was distinctly Emma like and that had that special touch of fairytale magic Regina could never achieve for her heart had always been too dark to hold it, to deserve it.

And Regina remembers all of it, right down to the irritating detail of exactly how Emma's hair had been styled that first day of their meeting. Not that she would ever tell Emma this.

"Obviously I didn't know at the time but her being there, her challenging me, would lead to our tumultuous relationship, to our eventual friendship and to our current...predicament." Because there is no other word to label this. It's not an ideal situation for either of them, least the former queen who knows she is in too deep, who knows she cannot crawl her way out of the pit she has dug herself into even though lord knows she's tried. "And I don't want...I don't want this to be the state of things between us. I care too much about Henry, about our family, about losing the friendship between us to let things go on like this. She's my first real friend here."

"And?" Archie prompts and Regina sighs, gathers courage to continue speaking. She hates him for being so astute at the same time she is happy he is because it means he won't let her get away with this bullshit, with running away from her issues. And she doesn't want to run from them, can't run from them because she's not a runner anyways and running away will solve nothing.

"And I'm scared of getting hurt. Of losing her like I've lost everyone else I've loved. But mostly, I'm afraid of her not reciprocating my feelings- and I know," here she laughs bitterly. "I know she won't- she's with Hook after all and they're happy. They're engaged already," and her lips curl up in disgust. "But when she gets tired of this arrangement, when that day comes, I want to be ready for it. I want to be prepared to not have my heart shattered."

"That is what I am here for," Archie says, tone earnest and eyes eager to help. There is no pity in them which Regina appreciates. She won't be pitied. "To help you through whatever it may be."

"Let's hope," because she doesn't know if there will ever be a non painful method to dealing with love.

Mother said Regina often loved too hard. And it's evidenced in the way she cursed a whole realm after Daniel's death, in how she tried to kill Emma for trying to take her son Henry from her. In how she would immolate anyone to protect her new found relations even though she puts on the front of barely tolerating them. For Regina, love indeed was her weakness because she felt it too strongly, cared to the point of it being something that could destroy her, that could cripple her permanently. Daniel's death had almost done that if she hadn't found salvation in murder and control of others.

Mother was never wrong. Hateful, cruel, manipulative, but never wrong when it came to matters that counted. And so Regina worried, worried so much what this love she felt for Emma would lead to when it would slighted.

Currently it had an outlet in the form of recreational activities in the bed. On the counter. In Regina's office. In Emma's apartment. Anywhere the mood struck and the situation was workable. But before that it hadn't been like that. It had been a lot of pining. Gods, so much pining.

A pathetic and sickening amount really. Everyone knew about it. The whole town except for Emma, the one sole object of the pining. Regina couldn't believe the blonde was so obtuse but perhaps it made sense given she was wrapped up in her True Love with Killian. She didn't have eyes for anyone else but him. She was drowning in him and he in her, honeymooning as if on another planet. They didn't have time to notice Regina's piteous simpering love sick gazes and sighing.

She had the town's pity despite hating pity. She had been a damned fear evoking queen. Had destroyed more lives than countable so why this pity? Why feel bad for her? Yet, for all their advice to give up on Emma, to move on, they still tuned into the Oblivious Savior and Enamored Queen show each day, dissecting and eating up their interactions. It was like Regina's feelings were their entertainment and it rubbed her raw. Frustrated her to such a point that Emma would ask but Regina could not explain without destroying things for Emma. Emma whose life was smooth sailing with the disgusting pirate, who she wouldn't dare to drag into her dark hole of despair.

The only person she could tell was Archie who listened and respected her desires and fears and acknowledged who she had once been. "They're laughing at me," she had hissed when it finally became too much, knees curled up to her chest, feeling small and vulnerable. Like the scolded child of years past under her mother's unforgiving tongue and even less forgiving whips of magic. "They take joy in this. I suppose it's fair given how I provided them with working water and electricity and civilization unlike the joke we had in the enchanted forest," she spits sarcastically, voice thick.

"You don't owe them anymore for your past deeds and crimes. Those are yours to burden, to dissolve. And they shouldn't laugh at you- surely they aren't, not as much as you think they are. You're feeling paranoid."

"I know they are," Regina insists and leaves Archie's office that day upset and wary of the eyes on her as she walked down the street. She had tried to avoid Emma to avoid pining over her, yet, it wasn't as easy as the townsfolk thought it would be. Emma grew worried over Regina's continued avoidance of her and in that bullheaded manner of hers had inserted her way back into Regina's life, until the mayor was forced out into the open. Clearly Regina couldn't avoid or ignore Emma. There was no way to.

So she swallowed down her feelings, choking them down, and continued her friendship with the Savior. Spending time with Emma was like slowly driving a knife into her chest and smiling tightly to hold back the blood from spilling out of her mouth. Not that she hated spending time with Emma. No, she loved it. Adored it, because they were stolen moments of Emma away from Killian. It meant that Emma still valued her enough to spend time with her. Regina went about acting as normally as she could. That meant avoiding profound conversation, staving off copious amounts of alcohol consumption when Emma was around, being careful with her touches so that they didn't linger, doing events where they would out of sight of the public so that they couldn't gossip about the Queen and continue to see her pining. Regina didn't do well with showing off her scars, with her weak points, and most certainly not in parading them for the town. The worst of them was Mary, who would look at Regina whenever the queen was with the savior and tip her head in a move imbued with so much meaning that Regina couldn't swallow. She wanted to scream in frustration at the woman. How could Regina do anything? Emma had Hook and Regina wouldn't take her happiness away.

Or at least, Regina had thought Hook was Emma's key to happiness. The first few months had been bliss for them while they had been hell for Regina. And then the fights started. They were small. Like about leaving dirty socks, or dishes in the sink. But then they escalated. They were about Emma working too much, about putting herself in too much danger because of her savior role. Hook wanted her home. Wanted her safe so that they could start thinking about starting their own brood. And Emma didn't like that. Didn't enjoy being told what to do.

She showed up on Regina's doorstep more than on one occasion when her and Hook's affections turned sour. She needed a place to crash. To get away from him and his drunken rages. He was back to drinking a lot. He had an on and off affair with the bottle, one he wanted to give up for Emma but would slip back into when he was too stressed or bored.

Regina would offer Emma some wine and a shoulder to cry if need be. She was there for her friend, aching as she watched Emma suffer. She thought,  _If it was me, I would give up whatever you desired so long as I could be with you. My job, my house, even my pride. Nothing would be too impossible to do as long as you were happy._  But Regina isn't with Emma so all she can give up is her hopeless wanting and push aside her selfish needs to be there for Emma as Emma chatters on and on about how horrid Hook is before she goes back to him and forgives him when he gives her his pouty look and his false promises of trying harder, of being better.

This cycle continues and continues and it drives Regina crazy. How can Emma stand to do this. Emma who is brave and stubborn and who never heeled to anyone. Regina bursts one day when Emma shows up once more, bag of her stuff packed under her arm. It's become common for her to have it, ready to flee Hook's intoxicated jealousy and misogyny rather than weather out the storms. "How can you put up with this?" Regina spits out because she hadn't counted on Emma coming this weekend and she's drunk off her ass. She'd seen Killian and Emma happy- adorable with their little kisses and sweetly crooned words and public displays of affection all over town. They had gone on dates and Killian had proposed to her and everything was going swimmingly and Regina had been sick to the pit of her stomach, had engaged with her apple cider hoping to wash the knowledge of their engagement away in a stupor. And she's halfway on her way there, on numbing the piercing pain in her heart, in the way it slowly bleeds and she's drowning on the inside in her own blood. Hot and thick and like a disease weakening her.

Emma's face is downcast and Regina regrets yelling at her but she can't hold back her feelings, not when Emma is right here, stark reminder of why her life is yet again a mess.

"I-I- what do you mean?" Emma frowns and enters the house, Regina slamming the door shut behind her too loudly in lost restraint.

"This," Regina hisses and grabs the hand on which the wretched contraption rests. "You're engaged." She throws Emma's hand from her in disgust. "And yet he still does this to you. Is this really a man you want to be with for the rest of your life? One who chases you out of your own house?"

Emma looks guilty. "He's...we just...it was my fault."

"No," Regina raises a finger, interjects too closely to Emma's face. "You deserve better. You deserve someone who will treat you like the gem you are. Not someone to be tossed out of the house on a whim, like you're trash."

Emma's frown wavers and she looks like she might cry. Regina has struck a nerve Emma tried to hide. Regina didn't mean to. She doesn't want to hurt Emma. Those days have passed. They're friends now.

What a sick word. A word that made her ill, that made her skin crawl. Once she had been happy to be friends with anyone, but not anymore. It doesn't satisfy her, leaves more to be desired, reminds her of how limited she is in actuality when it comes to reaching Emma.

"You're right," Emma admits, chin wobbling and she drops her duffel as she sinks into a hug, holding onto Regina as she cries, silent shakes and tears streaming down and Regina pats her back, whispers in soothing tones to make things better.

"I'm so tired of him being like this," Emma says once she is more calm and she hiccups, wiping at her stained cheeks. "I'm just...I thought he would be my happy ending but it's just so hard to be what he wants me to be."

"You don't have to be anyone but you," Regina insists, cupping Emma's chin and meaning every syllable. "You're perfect the way you are."

Emma gives a wry smile, unable to take the compliment, to believe the truth. "Yea, I don't know about that." She shakes her head, self deprecating chuckle on her lips. "I'm a terrible mother, a terrible savior, and absolutely terrible at keeping up a steady relationship."

"You aren't-"

"You told me as much. Remember?" Emma arches a brow and Regina does remember regretfully. All things she had said during their days of hatred.

"So you choose to still believe in them when I said them out of anger and spite?" Regina says softly. She wants nothing more than to strip Emma of this melancholy, would even capture the moon if that was what was required of her. "I only said those things to get under your skin and maybe at first you weren't...a good mother, weren't exactly an example of a functioning adult, but now, you've changed so much. Have gotten better."

Emma smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes and Regina flounders, wonders what else she can do to cheer Emma up. Inhibitions gone because of the drinks in her, she stumbles over to Emma and envelopes her into another hug, indulging in warm skin, in the smell of vanilla floating from her and in the pounding of the savior's heart as Regina rests her head on the blonde's chest. Her arms link behind the small of her back and Emma returns the hug in equal measure.

They stay like that for a while; Regina could stay like this forever. But Emma pulls free and asks, "do you have anything strong to drink?" And that's how Regina's incumbent world collapses.

Drunk, the both of them, they murmur to each other things they wouldn't normally say.

"You know, even back when we fought, I admired you," Emma admits openly, swirling the liquid in her glass. A nearly empty decanter of cider rests on the table next to them. Regina's slowed down in her drinking because Emma's here and to drink any more would be to condemn herself by revealing too much. Emma plays catch up and now she's as drunk as Regina if not more not that she cares. Emma clearly is ready to let loose tonight, to try and erase Hook from her mind.

"You did?" Regina is shocked and her eyes grow wide. She's resting her head on her arm which is tucked against the sofa's back. She turns in more, turns in to listen to Emma speak.

"I did," Emma chuckles. "You just had everything I never did. A good steady job, a nice house, a family. You had it together and I didn't and it pissed me off. Pissed me off because you knew and you rubbed it into my face. And I wanted to prove you wrong. Wanted to show you I could be better."

While they are both aware of their not so nice beginnings, Emma's never revealed this- the true reason she stayed. "I'd like to say I stayed for Henry...but I didn't." Emma empties the rest of the her drink and turns in to face Regina, voice soft like sheep fleece and eyes even softer. Regina just wants to melt onto her, wants to feel that softness in other places, soothing her aching soul and body. "I stayed for you."

Those words strike a chord with Regina and she begins to hope, something entirely too dangerous in her position. Perhaps...Emma does feel something for her. Something that she isn't entirely sure of.

"And I'm glad I stayed. I'm glad I did because now I have a family, and a home, and people who are special to me." Here Emma reaches over and squeezes Regina on the knee and the touch does her in, is the cannonball against the shoddy wall that makes her break.

Coupled with all those sentiments, magical words that Regina has longed to hear for so long from the savior's mouth, they move her like a marionette on a string and she's helpless to stop herself. The kiss is one sided, of course. Because of fucking course it would be.

But she's pleasantly surprised when she finds that Emma's lips begin to move under hers, when her hands grab onto Regina's shoulders and don't push her back but draw her closer.

This is heaven.

This is hell.

Regina has wanted to taste the savior's lips for eternity and she takes the chance to do so now, mapping out a life's worth of desire for Emma into this one kiss. It's needy, overwhelmingly so and she doesn't care, can't care when Emma is kissing her back in the perfect manner. Their mouths slant, working together, tongues dancing and teeth biting down on lips. But she knows as soon as this kiss is over she will have to face facts and she is scared of Emma's reaction.

They pull away when air becomes a rare commodity and Regina is afraid to look into Emma's eyes. Neither of them moves or says anything for a long time, just their interspersed pants filling the space between them as they finally regain their bearings.

"I-...I know this...this doesn't have to mean anything," Emma says at last and Regina curls her hands onto her knees and grips them hard because those words drive the knife in her heart deeper. She wants it to mean something. Wants it to mean waking up to Emma in the morning, kissing her goodnight at night, snuggling up on the couch together as they watch movies.

She tries to keep her face from breaking. She's made a mistake. She needs to rectify it. Gathering the words that weigh like stones, she speaks. "I wanted to cheer you up. You looked sad. Looked like you could forget about Hook for a while." She still can't look at Emma and she focuses on a spot behind the blonde's head. "I'll understand if you are shocked and disgusted-"

Emma grabs her hand as Regina gets up to go to bed, done with this night, with this world, and mostly with herself. How could she let her control slip like that? She's sober now, painfully so and she wishes she weren't because than she could numb the way her lips tingled and her insides danced in highs and lows like limbo. "I'm not- I mean, thank you."

Regina freezes at that, finally looks at Emma, confused. Certainly having misheard. Emma's face is unreadable but her hand is warm and it only tugs Regina closer to her, forcing her to sit. "I think...I think I know what we can do." Her thumb grazes Regina's cheek. "You're right about Killian. He's-lately...he takes me for granted. He demands far too much. But, I think I can get him to realize something if only you're by my side."

Fear alights in Regina's chest. What is Emma getting at? Her heart pounds faster.

Emma's eyes are contemplative, hard. "Go out with me Regina. Help me make him realize that he's being an asshole. I understand what I'm asking is stupid- and god, what even am I saying!?" Emma shakes her head, gets up, paces a few feet away. Regina sits where she is, shocked into silence, into immobility. She feels heavy with Emma's proposal. "I'm drunk. I shouldn't be-"

And it's because Regina's so stupidly, moronically, absolutely dreadfully in love with Emma, that she gets up. "Yes," she says, voice shaking.

Emma pauses, not expecting this from Regina. They never expect her to agree, only to anger. "What?"

"I'll do it. I'll help you make Hook jealous."

Regina effectively seals her own doom with that and the slabs of concrete pour over her, crush her while the ground opens up underneath her. She's buried any hopes for keeping her heart in one piece.

But she thinks perhaps she can live with it when Emma gives her a grateful smile that has Regina nearly swooning with it's intensity.

That night Emma takes off her devil's contract with Hook only to enter into another one with Regina.

"It started out of a good place," Archie says and his words pull Regina to the present. "You made it seem like you tricked Emma, like you did this all out of vile intentions."

"Oh, but I did," Regina spits viciously. "I wanted to revenge myself against Hook in anyway I could and if Emma was giving me the go ahead than who was I to say no? I desired to crush his heart the same way he crushed mine."

"And how did that change your relationship with them? With Emma, with Hook, and with Henry?"

"Things...things have been fine for now. Always teetering on the edge of destruction, but fine for now."

Archie arched a skeptical brow. "If you can call Hook attempting to hurt you fine, than what must constitute for awful in your books?"

Regina gives him a dark look. "I was Evil Queen, dear. And as such I did much and encountered much pain to get there. His attempt on me was pitiful."

"Yet you didn't tell Emma about it. Why not?"

Regina squirms in her seat before she reminds herself she's not some juvenile to be doing this. "I..."

"You didn't tell her because you didn't want to ruin her illusion of Hook, who you still think is Emma's happy ending," Archie cut in, losing patience for waiting on her. "But Regina, don't you see? You can be Emma's happy ending too."

She shakes her head vehemently at this. "I can't-"

"You can. All you have to do is try."

And those words fill her with more dread than promise because she has been trying for the past four years and it hasn't gotten her anywhere.

"Nice try," she sneers grotesquely to protect herself. "But I believe I came to you to steel my heart and not put it anymore on the line like it already is. I don't want to try anymore. I just want to give up."

"Oh Regina," Archie sighs quietly and this time she finally sees pity in his eyes because they both know this love is an addiction and she's the worst kind of addict.


	2. The Second Part of the Tragedy

"Tell me about the day at the mines," Archie starts off their therapy session this way today and Regina isn't expecting this.

"Why?" she asks cautiously, folding up her pea-coat and placing it on the back of her chair in case she needs a quick escape. Ever since last session she feels like Archie is no longer holding back, but just waiting to sink his claws into her and pry out some embarrassing confession out of her. But she's already told him enough secrets to fill a book. What more can he expect? What more does he want? Gods, these people only want and want from her and never give back. One day all her insides will be scooped out and she'll collapse in on her self, an empty shell.

"I'm just curious about your past with Miss Swan," he says and spins his pen in his hand, waiting for her to settle down before he can take notes.

"I already told you about my past with her. Besides, I'm sure it's not hard to ask anyone else in town about our first interactions. They saw it all. Heard it all. We weren't exactly subtle."

"Just indulge me," he says and Regina knows he has an ulterior motive but she sadly can't say what it is and that infuriates her.

"Fine," she snaps out, losing patience. "But you better get something constructive out of this, or else this is nothing more than a waste of time."

He says nothing just nods his head.

Regina delves into her mind, into the first memories she has of her and Emma. She makes sure to mention every detail, anything that could be of importance. She summarizes with an "and that was the first time I ever had to rely on someone else. On someone I barely knew in order to save my child. It was...hard letting go of my control, of visually seeing that I was weak, that I was unable to do anything. And it made me hate Emma even more for taking that control away from me, for making me see my own faults."

Archie makes a humming noise. "Interesting psycho analysis there. It seems Emma makes you open up to parts of yourself you didn't know you had. With the exception now being that you do not mind it as much."

Regina snorts. "Is that all you wanted to say about this? I've basically told you as much. She's made me become more...humanized and less of villain. She helped me redeem myself."

"There was more to this exercise than you doing that. I'm trying to go into your memories and see exactly when it is you fell in love with Emma. And why you are so deeply in love with her."

Regina rolls her eyes this time, though on the inside she itches with a curiosity on when it all happened. Her feelings sort of hit her like a fireball. One day she had been cool, calm, and unaware of her feelings. And then she had slowly come to realize them one day at a time until she was burning up with them, alight with the knowledge and screaming with the unrelenting burn of it.

She knew the day she was aware- and it had been a simple moment really. It had been a day at the beach, the Swan Mills family going together to make use of the warm weather. Emma and Henry had entertained themselves with games and swimming in the water while Regina had worked on her tan. They'd spent a hefty five hours out, out of Storybrooke, out of a fairytale, and just like any other regular family on the beach.

Emma had come back from the water, hair soaked and water dripping down her toned abs and arms. Regina had always appreciated her friend's beauty and now with it on fully display she couldn't stop the warm heat in her cheeks or stomach that she blamed on the sun. Henry was right behind the sheriff, shaking out his hair.

"What's for lunch, mom?" he asked, stomach growling loudly.

"Uh, some cucumber sandwiches, grilled chicken and juices," Regina had to tear herself away from how she was ogling Emma and she was thankful that both were too hungry to notice her hungry starring. She pushed the sunglasses up higher on her face to cover her eyes and pulled the hat down to give her warm cheeks respite from the sun.

"Usually I'd complain about your healthy meals, but cucumber sandwiches are actually so refreshing on hot days," Emma said gleefully as she tore into hers.

"Eat slowly," Regina warned and began to pick at the clear wrap on hers. Emma and Henry only slowed down by a microsecond, raring to go back to the cool waves.

And sitting here, under the warm sun, surrounded by Emma and Henry, Regina felt an overwhelming sense of belonging, of home, of finally finding the piece that she had been searching for all these years. Regina felt complete.

This felt so right, having Emma in the picture frame of her family and Regina nearly choked on her sandwich as this revelation hit her. She wanted more days like these, days of laughter and tanned skin and hot sand under toes while Emma hovered nearby, taking care of their son.

It was in this moment of satiation that Regina knew she was in love with Emma, that she would want for nothing as long as the blonde was next to her. As long as she was hers.

"Are you okay?" Emma paused from inhaling her food to worry over Regina whose grip on her meal had gone slack, whose eyes were glazed over, face aghast like she was reliving some ptsd event.

That was the moment all the warning signs came together and she realized she was in love with Emma Swan. Regina shook her head, snapping her thoughts free. She couldn't believe it, couldn't believe she was in love with Emma. But the signs had been here all along she had simply refused to acknowledge them.

She didn't know what to do with her love for Emma, after all the sheriff was engaged to Hook, but right now she wasn't going to let concern over it ruin her consummate moment with her family. "I'm okay," she smiled and went back to eating. Because currently she was; there was no telling if the rest of her would be as the days went on.

As Regina slowly came out of her recollections, she noticed Archie was waiting for her. Her cheeks colored lightly as she coughed to hide her embarrassment at the situation. "I don't need you to tell me why I love Emma Swan," she said haughtily. "She's funny, uplifting, the mother of my son. Caring, brave,  _stupidly_  brave," she corrected as she went on- because really, there were so many reasons why Emma was suitable, more than suitable. And Regina had been so blind to not see before. Had dated Robin, who was so bland and boring. Admittedly, he hadn't been bad- but his leaving her for Marian made her all the more paranoid about opening her heart to anyone else, and she'd already opened up her heart a lot of Emma, so it was perfect really. "She's also selfless-"

"Is she really?" Archie tips his head knowingly and Regina is off kilter by his sudden interruption.

"Excuse me?" she flutters her lashes, had believed no one in this town could ever have anything bad to say against Emma. Didn't they all love her for being their savior?

Archie tapped his pen onto his pad each time he made a point. "She's not really selfless if she's putting you in such a position. She's extorting you, for her own will and that is to get back at Hook, to make him see what he is missing. That's not a healthy relationship and she's certainly being selfish by being inconsiderate of your feelings."

But Regina doesn't see the truth there. She only smolders and burns. "You dare to say that? When she's saved the whole town over multiple times?" Her hands claw. How dare anyone say anything bad about Emma? She's a shining beacon of hope!

Archie is not scared in the face of her ire. He's seen it too many times here before. "But you've saved the town multiple times too. Doesn't that make you selfless?"

"I-" this cools her down a bit because it confuses her, trips up her words as her mind has to work to test the validity of it. "But I'm only making up for the wrongs I've done."

"You could do that in any manner of ways. You don't have to do it by risking your life consistently."

And she has nothing to say to that so he goes on. "And I'm not saying Emma isn't selfless- it's just that she is in the situation between the two of you. She needs to take responsibility in her actions."

Anger rises in Regina again. "She's not-"

"Don't shift all the blame on you. Just because you were once evil does not mean you are always the bad one, the vile one, the one in the wrong in any situation. You can be the good one too. You have to stop blaming yourself when something goes wrong." His words are like a hammer, breaking her down word by word and she hunches in on herself, small and vulnerable. "When Henry went missing to track down his mother, you felt you were the evil one just because he had done something irresponsible and misbehaved. When your relationship with Robin didn't work out you blamed yourself because you didn't try hard enough...and there are many more situations I can point out in example but I won't. Do you see the pattern? You need to stop blaming yourself when something goes wrong. The fault doesn't always lie with you." He leans back, gives her a moment to drink in his words.

"And you need to stop idolizing Emma. You're blinded by your love for her and while she is a great person, that doesn't mean she is without faults. Regina, you need to stop faulting yourself and fault others from time to time."

"I...I don't know if I can," she whispers out harshly and her brown eyes are wet but she will never shed her tears. Not here and not now.

"You're locked in a cycle of hate and anyone that shows you the slightest bit of love is worshiped. You have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else."

Regina shrugged helplessly here. Self hatred was so ingrained in her it was part of who she was. She couldn't remove it because she didn't know where it ended or started and she didn't even know if she wanted to part with it honestly.

"And how do I do that?"

Archie gives her a wry smile, eyes tired, soul weary with her burdens. "I wish I knew."

Those words are certainly lackluster and Regina leaves therapy feeling worn out and a hundred years too old for this world. She needs to rest, needs some tea to soothe her mind. But as she's walking to her car she gets a call from Emma. She immediately picks up without even thinking, breathless smile on her lips. Heeling to Emma is a reflex.

"Emma."

"Hey Gina. I was wondering if you're free right now cuz I need help with something..." Emma launches into detail about the plan she's got set up and Regina agrees to it, though a bit hesitantly. Archie's words about Emma not considering Regina's feelings stick with her. Archie is wrong about Emma. Emma would never do this if she truly knew how Regina felt. She just thought Regina had kissed her to get her mind off of Hook and was now helping Emma so that their relationship could be salvaged. And now they were going on these fake dates around town so that Hook could become jealous. It was working, incredibly well.

Hook had been calling Emma nonstop, had shown up at her doorstep to beg her to come back. Most notably, he had drunkenly shown up to Regina's mansion and smashed her windows in with a brick and tried to clamber in to fight her but she'd sent him back home with a burned ass so he would think twice about trying with her.

She hadn't told Emma about that, because she just didn't want to spoil her image of the man. She wanted Emma to have a happy ending, she truly did, even if that happy ending couldn't be with her. But Regina was used to that, used to disappointment. She knew she wouldn't get her happy ending, even if she was a reformed villain. It just wasn't how her story was going to end.

Thus she lapped up any offerings of happiness she could get even if it was going to lead to heartbreak later on.

Regina meet Emma at Granny's, a place they typically went to to enact their dates. Several people in town knew about their dating and had actually cheerfully supported it, saying it was about damn time and what had Emma been doing wasting time with the pirate anyways? Others thought Regina had seduced Emma away from Hook (no doubt rumors started by Killian and upheld by his scoundrel friends) and still others thought this was only a temporary thing. If it was temporary than three months was sure of a hell of a long time for it to be happening.

"Babe!" Emma cheered when Regina came into the diner, the blonde woman sliding up to her and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Regina inhaled the woman's scent as she did so, smelling of fresh linens and soft baked vanilla cookies, stealing another little moment for herself.

"Darling," she drawled, sitting down into their shared booth. She was giddy at seeing Emma again even if it was all a cover. "How was your day?"

"Good. Yours?"

"Same as always."

"Mmm. No new Disney characters shown up yet? I kinda miss the fighting now that the town has settled down. It's all boring," Emma hummed as she ordered her food, Ruby showing up and scribbling down the orders.

"I would think several near death experiences would prove that that is not such a great idea," Regina playfully chided.

"Nothing on such a grand scale as that," Emma clarified. "I just want an excuse to flex my muscles." And here Emma did flex her arm and Regina nearly did a spit take with her complimentary water- not one of her finest moments to be sure. She set her glass down with shaking hands.

_Gods, those biceps. I could bend iron on them._

"Uh, yes," Regina hastened to reply. It took a moment for her wit to return because all the blood from her brain had traveled down to between her legs. "Is rescuing cats from trees not harrowing enough?"

"No. I think I need some new activities to keep me occupied," Emma waggled her brows.

"I'll try my best to find something for you to do then. How does scrubbing toilets in the Rabbit Hole sound?"

Emma wrinkles up her nose. "Never mind. I like the peace and quiet."

Her words are punctuated by a loud tap against the window as a shadow falls over it. It's Hook, face pressed to the glass and hook digging in. He looks in longing at Emma before his gaze darkens on Regina. He doesn't say anything just stands there a long time, wordless. It's making them uncomfortable, Emma squirming in her seat. Granny notices him there and gets out the broom.

"Hey, what did I tell you? You stay out of my establishment after your fiasco last time. And don't scratch the glass with that hook of yours!" She goes out waving her broom at him and chases him away and Emma breathes easy as he walks off unhurried. Last time he had been here, there had been a lot of screaming and throwing of glasses and he'd gotten his ass kicked by Granny herself for ruining the diner's glassware collection.

"So..." Regina starts, hesitant, curious. "Are you still not talking to him?"

Emma nods her head reluctantly. Her eyes don't meet Regina's. "I figured I needed more time. That he needed more time." She shrugs helplessly. "And I like spending time with you."

"Oh, okay," Regina says softly because she knows Emma isn't telling her something but she's not going to press.

Their meal arrives and they busy themselves with lukewarm conversation and their food. By the time they get to Regina's place a dark mood has fallen over Emma, though Regina has no idea why. They stand awkwardly at the door, Regina not willing to part until she makes Emma feel better. She hates to see her friend so down in the dumps.

"What's really going on with you and Hook?" she asks and even though she might be setting herself up for heartbreak, for the end of this fake dating relationship, she puts the needs of Emma first.

"I already told you," Emma starts, hands deep in her jacket pockets.

"No, you told me a place holder. I want the truth. It's been months, Emma." Regina knew this dating had to come to an end. "I thought things with you and Hook were better."

Emma scuffs the ground with her shoes, avoids Regina's eyes as she fills her lungs with air and bravery. "I...I kind of don't think I'm ready to accept him yet." She levels Regina with her gaze. "You opened my eyes to my situation with him and after I went back that night, I fought with him. A lot of unpleasant things were said and I saw his true side. I told him I was leaving him for you, because he couldn't change even though he said he would, and that if it wasn't difficult for you to do something like that given who you once were, than it shouldn't be for him either."

"Oh," Regina feels like she was just punched in the gut. She's dizzy and light headed and her legs are shaking. She leans against the door as casually as she can so she does not belie the impact of Emma's words on her. "You-me- we're  _dating_?" She hates the way she sounds breathless but she cannot control the pounding of her heart, the tightness of her chest.

Emma looks sheepish here and a little guilty. "Yea, I may have, said that." She coughs awkwardly into her fist, eyes trailing away from Regina's face again. "But I said that to piss him off and it's not like I would force you to be in an actual relationship with me. Unless you want to or something or you know," Emma's words trail off, go smaller and smaller and Regina blinks stupidly.

"Are you asking me out Miss Swan?"

Does Emma actually like her romantically or is this just another way to deepen Hook's frustrations? Regina cannot tell anymore but her foolish heart beats harder.

Emma's head jerks at that, at the return of the moniker. She smiles lightly. "The least I can do is offer some...services as thanks. I mean, if you're into that," Emma quickly clarifies and her cheeks are steaming red. "I just...you're doing all this for me and I want to uh, help you get something out of this and it's been a while since Robin- and god, I'm rambling again. I'm so fucking bad at this." She rubs her forehead in aggravation.

Regina lays a gentle hand to still her motions. "Fuck buddies," comes bluntly from her mouth. "You want to be fuck buddies?" It feels wrong and vulgar to say such things out side, out where anyone can over hear them.

Emma relaxes. "I don't even know if you're into women."

"And I don't know if you're into women either," Regina breathes. Her hand goes down lower and lower on Emma's arm, till her fingertips glide over knuckles and cool fingers and then are free of Emma's skin and slowly lowering against the rough material of Regina's pantsuit. Heated skin lies underneath and her mind is cloudy, wanting with what it is being offered. Like a starved lion being offered the best cut of meat.

Seeing that Regina hasn't been scared away, hasn't rejected her, Emma moves closer, eyes darkening. "I owe you and if you need a release it's fine. I need one too. And that's all it has to be. I understand if you don't want me. Or if you don't want to do this-"

Regina cuts off Emma's rambling with a sharp kiss. How could Emma ever be fool to think that Regina doesn't want her, that Regina could ever reject her. She'd be fool to ignore what is being proffered. She may never get this chance again, so she eagerly laps up the crumbs given to her and promptly forgets everything involving Hook and trust and deeper meaning and tugs on Emma's jacket to bring her indoors.

Fuck buddies. They've gone from fake dating to fuck buddies and Regina's head is spinning with the rapid change but it's not like she can care, not when she can take and take for the first time in her newly reformed life.

She's rough, needy and loud with desire. The bed is miles away but they make it, Emma pliant and capable under her hands. They're both wet, trembling, skin flushed and no words are exchanged between them. This isn't love making, it's merely fulfilling one end of the bargain.

A release, Emma had said.

A release for Emma who no doubt hasn't felt the comforts of someone in bed with her ever since casting Hook to the dog house.

A release for Regina who craves and craves more of Emma and who hopes that once she fills it with wet flesh and slick heat that it will finally be over. That she will be sated.

And that's all it is- a release, dirty and best buried under sweat stained sheets like it never happened. Let the night swallow up their moans and groans and keep them locked away. Let the light of day never see their naked forms twisting around each other in rapture, destroying and bringing the other to life every few seconds.

The whole event has Regina shaking like a damn virgin. Like she hasn't brought grown kings to their feet. Like she hasn't slept with dozens of people before and never once has she felt an iota of nerves gnaw at her, make her feel so out of control like this.

Mapping out Emma's body like she is learning anatomy for the first time. Delving a tongue between wet heat like it is the first time she is tasting it. She shakes and shivers and Emma does as well underneath her, the two of them collapsing into seduction of the best and worst kind.

Regina tries to sate her hunger with kiss plump lips and hickey marks on delicate skin.

But it isn't as easy as that. Gods, it never is for Regina.

When Emma leaves, sheets smelling of her sated desire and her soft vanilla like scent Regina realizes with terrifying dread that she has only worsened things for herself. That night she cannot sleep for the images of Emma cumming around her fingers are forever seared into her mind, like a brand that defines her. And in a way, who is Regina if not made up of equal parts longing for Emma and to be loved, and equal parts hating Hook and herself?


	3. The Third Part of the Tragedy

Regina enjoys telling Archie the exact extent of her and Emma's sexual exploits if only to watch him squirm. It reminds her of the old days when she was still powerful and could do this by easily looking at someone. Now, she didn't have that power so she had to get her kicks in anyway she could.

Ever since that night, they've fucked like rabbits, pure and simple. Actually, there is no purity to it. Emma is creative with their sex and Regina is a sucker for it, liking whatever Emma has to offer her. One time they'd even fucked on top of the Bug's hood, with Emma using her service baton for once in her entire time in this town.

Regina had suddenly found it prudent to make the batons longer for 'safety' reasons that would both satisfy her and the sheriff, surely.

"I told you she wasn't selfish," Regina taunts, glad in her victory as she details how this situation came to be. "Otherwise she wouldn't be doing this for me."

Archie genuinely looks exasperated here. "This is really the most complicated manner of someone admitting they have feelings," he grumbles under his breath and rubs his eyes.

Regina tilts her head in confusion. "Feelings? Confession? What ever are you saying?"

He sighs, puts his pad and pen done so he can clasp his hands seriously in front of him. "Emma has made a big step forward in this fake dating situation you have. A really big step that cannot be come back from. I think it's time you answered her move with a move of your own."

Regina frowns deep.

"She put herself out there, Regina. I know you don't want to break your heart but in this case it seems clear to me that perhaps _you_ might break someone's heart."

Regina laughs at this. "Please, this is nothing but sex. I can't get attached, I'm already attached. And Emma is merely passing the time with me until she and Hook can talk things out." She shakes her head at him, pitying his deductions. Where did he get such ideas into his head.

"She's taking any awfully long time to talk to him, isn't she? It's been six months now, Regina, and sooner or later the both of you are going to run out of surfaces to fuck on so I suggest the two of you talk about the important matters before that happens and your relationship completely erupts." By the crude word in his sentence, Regina can tell she's made him mad which she didn't think was possible for someone so even tempered. She also has the vague sense he is trying to tell her something important, to hint at it until she realized it upon her own, but she cannot tell what.

"I think you and Emma should have a joint meeting together with me," he said at last, stern and serious.

"A joint meeting?" Regina scoffs. "Why?"

"I think it would do good for the both of you to air out your feelings with one another. To finally get the truth out into the air."

"Emma and I aren't the feelings type of girls," Regina clarifies snidely.

"And that may be where your problems start," Archie says cheekily.

He leans back, dismissing Regina just as a knock sounds on his door. Regina has over stayed her welcome here, her session running over. A familiar mop of hair is revealed as the door opens and Emma freezes when she sees Regina there.

"What are you doing here?" she accuses the mayor, flustered.

"I could ask you the same," Regina answered, hand coming up to her stomach to steady the sudden nerves going through it. Recollections of freshly fucking Emma on the sheriff's desk before she came to her appointment with Archie runs through her mind and she licks her lips unintentionally.

"I um, I'm just here to ask Archie for- er, to walk his dog. Yes, I love walking his dog!" Emma stammers out and Archie arches his brow but wisely says nothing. Regina finds the behavior suspect but figures if Emma hasn't said something about it, it must not be important.

She strides out of the office, tossing her hair over her shoulders. It's grown longer recently and it fits the softer image she is trying to portray to make citizens believe she is nicer and not as acerbic.

When she gets to her car she sees that there is a ticket in the windshield. It's from the police department and as Regina lifts it up, she bites down on her bottom lip. Emma's left it for her, charging her with a fine for being too hot and demanding her to go to the department later to pay off the fee.

Oh, someone will be paying for this fee, and it won't be Regina. Thoughts locked in naughty contemplation on what she can do to Emma- something certainly involving handcuffs and lots of flexibility- Regina drives off, paying little mind to her surrounding area. She goes to the dry cleaners to pick up her suits, she drops off some completed library books for Henry, and then she stops by Granny's to bring Emma a meal for later.

As she's leaving to go to her car, one hand holding up the containers, other hand digging in her pocket for her keys, she feels a rough hand grab her and spin her into the back alley of the street by Granny's.

She shrugs free of the hold, eyes flashing hot. "Hook, get your filthy hand off of me," she grits out, not in the least delighted to see him. He looks haggard, worse for the wear, bags under his eyes, hair a mess, beard scruffy and breath stinking of rum.

"You took Emma from me!" he hisses, accusing.

"I did no such thing," Regina defends. "You chased her off yourself with your disgusting behavior. You didn't treat her right."

"I did treat her right. I loved her! I didn't merely use her to satisfy some sick revenge against Snow."

"This isn't a revenge against Snow. I happen to care very deeply for Emma, something you could not do. You have no one to blame but yourself." She pointed at him vindictively. "Now, you've wasted enough of my time." She twirled on her heel to leave elegantly when she felt his hand on her again, grabbing her. "Touch me again," she warned as she span to face him, "And I'll cut off your only hand-"

But her threat was cut off when something splattered her face, coming from a vial in Hook's grasp. Her free hand touched the new addition, the liquid coming off blue and thick, like phlegm. "What did you just toss at me?" she asked, voice wavering with panic over what it could be. She had never seen this potion before. Where did he get it? Did Gold give it to him?

"Just a little something I collected on my travels over the seas. Some pagan magic," he gave a leer, dark eyes shining in triumphant. "It does whatever I tell you too."

Her heart froze here, blood turning to ice in her veins. "No- such magic- Hook, you need to take this back!" she stumbled out, but he only chuckled harder. This was a nightmare!

Was there some magic she could use to counter this? None came too mind.

"I think not, dear."

Frantically Regina scrubbed at her face but the magic had already sunk into her skin and she could feel it sinking into her brain, making her sluggish, making her vision blurry like she was asleep.

"I want you to break up with Emma and get her to go back to me."

His words rang clear in her head and her back snapped up straight as she dropped the containers of food onto the floor, good meals gone to waste. "Yes, Hook." Robotically she strode out of the alleyway and got into her car, driving over to Emma.

And that's the last thing she remembers before she wakes up in her bed, alone and with a throbbing head ache.

Judging by the light coming in through the window, it must be a new day. But is it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow- how much time has passed. She has no concept of what occurred, no reference to go by. All she knows is Hook is to blame. Hook had something to do with this.

Her chest burns with anger, a dull aching empty sort of anger and she dresses up spitefully, intent on seeking him out. Intent on knowing if Emma is okay. She calls the blonde first, wanting to know if she has done anything reprehensible to her but her call never makes it because as the automated voice on the other end informs her, Emma's phone is no longer in service.

Frustrated, she tosses the phone away. She loathes this, this feeling of pieces of her memory gaping at her, laughing at her foolish and weak mind. She likes to be in control of her body and of the situation around her and she despises having less of it.

Why is Emma's phone not working? Did something happen to her? Did another curse take place and wipe away the memories of Storybrooke's residents?

She needs to find out and for some reason her gut is leading her to Hook. So she does just that, teleporting her way over to his ship, only to find it is gone from it's spot at harbor. Vanished right into the thin air. Where is it?

Regina whirls on her heel, accosts Leroy who is walking past, minding his own business. "Where the hell is Hook's ship?"

He looks startled by her volume, at her even deigning to speak to him, but answers. "It's been gone for weeks now."

"Weeks?" her voice rises in pitch and her eyes widen.

"Yea, weeks," he reiterates, a confused look on his face. "Have you been hitting the hard stuff sister? Don't recall where you've been or what's going on?"

"How many weeks?" Regina grits out, needing to know, forgoing any insult to toss at the small man for his because she doesn't have time for that only for facts. Her hands curl into fists that want to summon fireballs.

"I reckon about three by now."

"And where did they go?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," he shrugs, eyeing her distraught state oddly, before he resumes his mildly drunk walk across the pier.

How did Regina miss three weeks? Three  _entire_  weeks? There had to be something to explain this, but all she knew was last she had gotten into her car to drive to Emma and then she had woken up in her bed. Who could help her with this? Usually Emma would, she would be by her side. But the blonde was gone, taken away by that joke of a man.

Henry. Henry was her other closet confidant. But where was he? She didn't know that either and it scared her and enraged her all the more. She hated feeling this helpless, this confused.

She poofed around town, checking the school, which was closed, the Charmings' place, which was Henry free and which had the couple still peaceably slumbering, and lastly his room, where he actually was, just waking up due to her intruding.

"Henry," she cried out, so relieved to see him. She wrapped him up in her arms, he still warm from sleep. But he didn't return her hug, just sat there stiff. Something was wrong-but what?

"Henry, what's going on? What happened?" she pulled free, gave him an evaluating look.

"You don't remember?" he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

She shook her head no, kneeling by his bed. "I can't recall the last three weeks, and Emma and Hook are gone and I just don't know what happened."

His expression said he didn't know how to take the news. "Are you really sure you don't remember anything?" he asked, an edge to his tone.

"Yes. I really don't. And I don't know why. Is there a new curse in town? Is that why Emma is missing? Because she went looking for a solution?"

Henry appraised her, young eyes dissecting her words and her body language. At last a smile crept over his face. "It really is you!" he exclaimed and leaping from his bed, hugged her tight, only serving to confuse her more.

"Me? Was I not me? Did-was the Evil Queen out?" Now she began to worry even more.

He shook his head, stepping away from her. "No, she wasn't here. But you were. And you were acting like yourself, but just...as if you were going through the motions. I thought it had to do with your big fight with Emma. You sent her away but when I asked you if you were upset about that, you said that you were happy she was with Hook because that was where she belonged."

Hook. It all came back to him.

"I didn't mean to do any of that. I was...I don't know what affected me, because I can't remember anything of the past three weeks and I certainly never would have driven Emma away if I could have. I need to get her back. I need to apologize." But what for, Regina didn't know.

Henry shook his head. "I don't know where Ma went. She didn't say anything, just left on the boat."

"Then I'm going to have to track her down." Regina was all determination. "First, I need to get my memories back." And as much as she hated to admit this, she would need Gold's help.

"I want to come-"

"No, Henry," Regina softly insisted. "I need to do this on my own."

And she left to Gold's shop. The imp wasn't glad to see her, but when had he ever been. This time, he looked less happy than usual. "Come back to trash my shop once more?" he asked, sneering at her.

Trashing his shop? Well, now that was something she would love to do, but that she hadn't- at least not that she knew of. "I can't say I recall-"

"Really, when it was such a spectacle," he grinned none too kindly. "Fireworks enough to make the fourth of July jealous."

"I don't have my memories," she got out, not in the mood for his behavior.

"Convenient excuse," he muttered out, hands slapping his counter.

"No, not an excuse, a concern." She strode closer to him, impatient to get this over with already. "I can't remember any of my actions from three weeks prior and I suspect Hook had something to do with it. I'm here to ask you to return them to me."

Gold eyed her in distrust, weighing his options on whether to believe her or not. "You say Hook had something to do with this? I wouldn't be surprised, only surprised by how long it took him to retaliate against you. He has not a single bone of love in his body for you."

"I am aware of that. It's a sentiment I rapidly hold," Regina snapped out. "Now, tell me, can you restore my memories?"

"And what's in it for me?" he rubbed his hand, eyes glittering.

"I do not harm your store, ever again," she said regally, hand flaring to life with a fireball.

His lips twisted up in laughter but his eyes were not amused. "I supposed I can give this one to you for free. I'm quite curious as to what magics Hook possessed that could have done this."

"You act as if you hadn't given them to him in the first place!" Regina accused readily.

"I did not. Hook despises me as much as he you. He would never think twice about coming to me for help." Gold gestured a hand to lead the way into his back room where Regina lay down on a magical examination table. She felt uneasy at him hovering over her, vulnerable to him, but what choice did she have? She had come to rely heavily on Emma in seeking out solutions to their problems and without the blonde, she felt untethered, as if she might float away with the wind.

His hands shone a misty gray color before he hummed to himself and rummaged among his shelves for a flask. Inside it was black, an inky darkness that frothed. He uncorked it and as soon as he did, it floated over Regina's body, settling down over her. it felt like being covered in cold, it chilling her to her bones.

"What was that?"

"A potion to enhance any magically signatures I can pull off of you."

"Is it working?"

"Patience, your majesty."

Silence fell upon them again as Rumple circled over her, eyeing her ardently for any magic, hands waving, words muttering from his lips.

Regina felt like a steak on display. "This is ridiculous," she huffed, affronted. "What ever was I thinking coming here-"

"Aha!" his loud cry stopped her from getting up as he tugged at something on her face. When he pulled it free swiftly, all Regina could see was a wisp of blue magic that evaporated.

She waited not so patiently for an explanation. "And?"

"Pagan magic- magic that is not canon to our world."

"What does that mean?" she asked irritably, now sitting up.

"It means, that I have no idea what sort of spell it was or how to get your memories back, because the magic wore off and now I have no idea on what to do."

"I should have known this would have been a waste of time!" she snarled out, jumping to her feet. She felt more agitated and lost than ever. Where was Emma when she needed her?

"Only Hook knows where the magic came from. You have to find him."

"And how will I do that when he's realms away!" Regina flung her hand out, nostrils flaring. Was Gold not even going to pretend to be helpful?

Gold gave a short laugh at this. "Honestly, Hook's not very original. Where else could he have gone?"

The answer dawned on Regina like a sun rising. "Neverland." That's where she needed to go next.

"And what happened when you went there?" Archie asked, pausing in his note taking to ascertain Regina's emotional state. But she was fine, agitated, but fine. Lately, she'd been seeming more emotionally vapid, shallow, almost like she was missing something. Perhaps it was time to give it back to her?

"I found Hook, trying to initiate a wedding with Emma." Regina grit her teeth so harshly it was amazing they didn't snap.

"And what did you do?"

"I crashed it."

The atmosphere of the psychologist's office fades for that one of hot sand, crashing waves, and Hook and Emma standing under an altar of white coral blooming pink flowers while Hook's crew watch. He's dressed in a sort of naval outfit and she's in a white dress with pink and yellow flowers in her braided hair. They make the perfect picture of a happy couple. Regina can't stand it.

"A wedding and no invitation? You do know what happened last time when I wasn't invited," she made a dramatic entrance, giving her best Evil Queen smile. A fireball warmed her hand pleasantly.

"You!" Hook snarled out. "How did you get here?"

"With a little pixie dust," Regina shot back, stepping down the makeshift aisle. Swords and guns were pulled out by the crew but with a wave of her hand, the sand under their white fold up chairs exploded and they fell into a giant sand pit with cries.

"You are not ruining this for me. Not when Emma is mine!" He whips out the ceremonial saber by his side, points it threateningly at her. She bends the metal with a twirl of her finger and the weapon is now as dangerous as a toothpick.

"What did you do to me, Hook?" she demands, heels stabbing into the sand as she nears. "What was that magic you used on me?!"

Emma stares at them, silent and fearful, confusion on her features. The bouquet of flowers in her hands is trembling with the force of her grip.

"It doesn't matter. What's done is done," he sneers and she loses her temper. Her hands find a place on his throat, squeezing relentlessly as his feet hover over the ground, kicking futilely.

"I will end you. Tell me what you did!" His eyes bulge out, he wheezes for breath.

Emma at last springs into action. "Stop that!" a wave of magic extends from her hands, knocks Regina flat onto her back. "Stop hurting him!"

"Can't you see he's the one hurting me?!" Regina sits up, spitting up sand as Hook lays on the tan dunes, gasping for air. Emerald and citrine eyes meet in a glare. "He robbed me of my memories. He made me do such terrible things."

"No one made you do those things to me. No one but you." Emma's tone is ugly, her face scrunched up in disgust and it turns Regina's heart into an aching muscle of pain. Each time it beats, fresh hurt surges through her veins, makes her weak, makes her want to cry.

Emma doesn't believe her.

Why.

Why doesn't she believe her?

"Emma, please, give me a chance to explain," Regina begs, plaintive, vulnerable once more.

"There is nothing that I want to hear from your mouth. Now get out before you ruin my wedding any more than you already have."

She turns her back on Regina; she bends to help Killian up, whispering soothing words to him and Regina's stomach drops like a stone.

Her limbs tremble with the ability to just hold her together until she makes it to the forest far from their happiness so she can collapse into her own despair.

"Do you still have nightmares about that night?" Archie asks delicately.

"Of course I do. What kind of a question is that? Would I still be here if I didn't?" Regina snaps back, irate but subdued with memories of her own grief. She had cried and cried until nothing else would come from her eyes, until no more sobs could be wretched from her chest.

"Have you tried talking to Emma after that?"

"I did. But it didn't work." Regina lowers her eyes, a darkness falling over her once more. "And I don't know what I did to make her act like this to me."

Multiple rejections flash across her face. Her coming up to Hook and Emma's house. They had moved in, a small house with a white picket fence. Emma answered the door, looking freshly woken up. But any vestiges of sweet dreams clinging to her were washed away when she realized who was at her door.

"Emma-" Regina began but Emma wasn't having it.

"I don't have anything to say to you. And I don't have anything I wish to hear from you." And she slams the door shut.

When she picks up Henry she is unresponsive to Regina and the little boy flashes Regina a look of compassion. "Ma," he tries as Emma takes him away. "Why are you so mean to mom. She didn't do anything to you."

"Sometimes not doing anything is worse," is Emma's cryptic answer and even Henry's best snooping doesn't pierce the veil on what happened between them because Emma shuts down, refuses to stubbornly answer.

Regina doesn't give up- she won't. Not when everything had been working well weeks before. They hadn't admitted to their love or anything, but Regina could deal with being a hook up from time to time as long as she had Emma. She was used to having the short end of the stick. But not having her and not knowing why was a casualty she could not recover with.

Emma grows tired of Regina's efforts while Regina does not.

"Follow me around any longer and I  _will_  get a restraining order on you," Emma warns none too kindly.

"If you would only let me explain!" Regina protests, near tears.

"What is there to explain?" And Emma shuts the door on her for the last time.

Regina hurtles home, lost and hurting. She pours herself a cup of whiskey, hands shaking as she gulps it down.

Finished and with a frustrated sob, she throws her glass at the mirror and both shatter on impact. Does that count as double the bad luck? Something she doesn't need. Her future is already bleak enough.

So she crumbles against the wall, hands digging into her hair, mourning whatever she has left.

"Maybe it's time to have it back," Archie suggests and Regina vehemently shakes her head.

"I don't want it back. It hurts less without it."

Archie acquiescence's silently. He won't pressure her. Not today.

"I just hate it that he leers at me. Fucking _leers_  at me," Regina breathes out, hands shaking as she cradles her head in her hands. "Like he's won and there is no way I will ever get her back. And the worst part is he's right. Maybe I should give up."

"That's not the woman you are-"

"Maybe it should be?" Regina poses, eyes wide. "I've never known when to quit. I just keep pushing and pushing myself and pushing others and it's what lead to the mess of the curse in the first place. Because I kept pushing and pushing towards my revenge, not caring who got in my way. What if Emma is truly happy with him?"

"If you have to include an 'if' in Emma's happiness, than she's not really happy is she?" Archie points out. "And in this case, I think you should push. You might need to push a lot, because there are so many obstacles."

"But I don't even know what I did wrong," Regina states with a whine of frustration. It's not very queenly to whine, but at this point, Archie has already seen her at her worst, so what else will this matter. "I don't have my memories and there's no way of getting them back." Regina has tried, tried with all her being. But until Hook gives on what magic he used, she will never breach the situation.

"Perhaps magic will not work. But, hypnosis might." He pulls out a pocket watch from his shirt. It glints like gold in the lamp light.

And Regina is so starved for a way of making this work, that she agrees.

And thus the pendulum swings.


	4. The Fourth Part of a Tragedy

Archie's face is disappointed when they reach the end of their hypnosis session. And pissed off. "Oh, Regina. It's nothing that the real you did. Hook was behind all this. He was the one who made your situation with Emma worse."

"I knew it," she hisses out, rising from her seat with deadly rage. "I will string him up by his guts, I will paint the town red with his blood-"

"Now, now," Archie placates. "I think you need to tell Emma the truth. You owe her that much at first."

"But what can I tell her when I still don't know anything?" Regina knows she went under, under the control of the simple watch. She felt her body go light, her troubles lifting away and then nothing but bliss and relaxation.

"That's why I recorded everything, so you can know what you said." And he hands over the camera he had on his desk and with slight trepidation, Regina presses play and her whole world is shook.

She knows why Emma hates her now and doesn't begrudge her the distance at all.

This entire mess, this misunderstanding born of a misunderstanding, eventually dissolves into a waiting game. Regina, with no sure way to contact Emma, can only hope the stubborn blonde gives in. In the meantime, on Archie's insistence, she begins the process of self care and self love.

It's not easy, thinking that she can be loved, that she can be worthy of someone else simply by being who she is. That's why she laps up any affection shown to her, why she does it without a doubt, even if it's not the right fit for her.

"Let's start small and work our way backwards," Archie says as Regina settles herself more stoutly against her chair. "Tell me about Robin."

"What about him?"

"Why did you love him. Or, did you ever love him in the first place."

Regina sighs, takes this time to really think. "I think...I really wanted to love him. I wanted him to be my happy ending. So I forced myself to adore him, to spend time with him. And it would have worked. He too probably was desperate for love, for a new family, and he was trying to be in love with me."

"And?"

"And nothing. It didn't work out. He was a nice man, one who didn't judge me for my past. But pixie dust," here she scoffed, shaking her head. "How can pixie dust decide who my true love is." She can see the absurdity of this where she had failed to before.

"And the man before that? Daniel?"

The answer to this comes more quickly. "He was my escape. My freedom from my wretched home. He was kind and he cared for me." She still holds him close to her heart but now she recognizes their relationship for what it was. An infatuation. Something idealized and not realistic. She had been blinded in her feelings for him when it was never really that intense to begin with.

"And your father?"

"I loved him, even if he did nothing to protect me from mother. He was gentle and patient and accepted me for who I was."

"And your mother? Did you ever love her?"

"Of course I did." And here hot tears sit heavy in the back of her throat. "I loved her despite all she did to me. Despite all the pain and misery because she was my mother and all I really had."

Archie nods his head. He looks proud, having finally deciphered what it is about Emma that draws Regina so toxic to her. "I can see bits and pieces of your reasons for loving all these people in your past reflected in Emma. She doesn't judge you for your past, she is your escape from it. And she is kind and caring. But mostly, you feel like she is all you have left, so you latch onto your love for her. But you're not alone, Regina. You do have friends. You have other people who care for you."

His words only annoy her because she can see the truth in them plain as day now that it is laid out. "I thought we were focusing on me and not on Emma anymore."

"We are. But I wanted to point this out to you because I think this is very important. I think you should start dating again."

She sputters in disbelief. "Start dating? I'm not in the right mindset to date-"

"I didn't say now. But the goal is to build up to that, to feeling confident in your wants and in demanding enough to have another partner."

Regina wants to say no, wants to say she doesn't want to give up on Emma, that all she wants is Emma and everyone else pales in comparison to that. Archie senses her hesitation. "I've tried, Regina. I really have. But I can't change Emma's reaction to you and though it pains me to see the both of you acting this way, I cannot do anything if one party is not willing to try." He pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"That's why I just want to give you a happy ending. That's all I want at this point."

Someone who cares about her happy ending. Someone other than Henry or Emma. Tears press at the back of her eyes and she sniffs them back. "Okay," she says shakily, ready to try. "Give me my happy ending."

Somehow or another, a year goes by. At a snails pace, and painfully like dragging thorns against skin, but it does. And Regina makes it in one piece. Well, one piece minus a very important heart, but she's not ready to have it back yet. Maybe when she gets stronger, maybe when more time passes, she'll take it back, but until then, Archie holds it for her, locked under safe and key.

Regina learns to love herself. To put herself first sometimes. And it feels...nice. Too long she has hated herself, too long has she thought herself unworthy. But she's not. She is an amazing woman, one who deserves happiness. What happened in the past is her blame to carry but she doesn't feel responsible for it anymore. That was a different her, a different part of her, one she doesn't intend to return to because it had been hurting and vile and so consumed in self hatred that it had leaked out into the world and poisoned those around her.

Now, she was going to think positively, and to be positive. She was going to radiate love.

Henry was the first to notice.

"Mom, you're all...happy and stuff," he said as they had breakfast one day. "I haven't seen you this happy ever since before you and Ma had that big fight."

"I decided it was time to stop dwelling on things in the past and move forward. I have things I want to do with my life."

"No, but I mean you're a different type of happy," he stressed and she arched a brow, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"You're...like a relaxed happy," he said, shrugging. "I don't know how to explain it, but I'm glad you feel this way. I like seeing you smile."

And his warm words only serve to bring an even bigger grin to her face.

She does more fun activities nowadays. She takes Henry on hiking trips on the weekend. They go to the beach, the amusement park outside of the town border. And she starts dating again. Men, of course. She can't handle being with a woman because they all too closely bear a resemblance to Emma. But men, she can do.

It feels weird, putting herself out on the market like that, and she doesn't always enjoy the dates she has set up with these strangers. But it makes her feel younger again, more wanted, and it helps with her more lonelier moments.

And all the while she keeps her thoughts from straying to that house ten blocks away with the white picket fence. She and Emma barely cross paths and there's been no more villains to fight so not even the heat of battle can draw them together. Regina hated the separation at first, but she's come to realize she was entirely too dependent on Emma for friendship. Regina rediscovers old bonds with Kathryn, Mal, even forging new ones with Jacinda, and Sabina.

And she's living the good life. As she blossoms, Emma flounders. The few glimpses of her around town that Regina catches show her face pale and gaunt and clothing style of that of a woman in the 50s. Sometimes their eyes will meet and Regina will smile cordially and then be on her way as Emma blankly looks on at her. Archie has told Regina she needs to care for herself first, and that everyone comes afterwards.

And it's not like they are on speaking terms. Emma saw to eradicating that completely.

That's why it surprises her when one night, right before November ends, Emma shows up at her door.

Regina doesn't know what to say for a long while. It's like she's seeing a ghost. A bloodied ghost. "What happened?" she breathes out at last, eyes tracing over the red leaking from Emma's nose, the bruise around her eye.

"He hit me."

And it's like everything from this past year melts away and it's all back at the beginning. Back when Hook would kick Emma out of the house, would yell at her, scare her. Regina reaches out to her, strokes a thumb over too thin of a cheek, skin stretched over the bone.

"I'll kill that son of a bitch," Regina says softly but eyes sparkling with malice.

Except this time, Emma doesn't make excuses for his actions. "He was drunk and he got annoyed at me, so he hit me. I can't do this anymore. I don't want him anymore. I never wanted him. Why did you have to push me away all those months ago? I thought we were making progress. I thought my feelings were getting to you. You broke my heart, Regina." And Emma's words are teetering on the brink; she is on the edge of a meltdown.

Archie's words replay in Regina's head.  _"She put herself out there, Regina. I know you don't want to break your heart but in this case it seems clear to me that perhaps you might break someone's heart."_

So that's what he had meant.

Emma had always made the first move in progressing their relationship.

 _"I brought you some root beer and a salad from Granny's."_ Emma striding into Regina's office, bribing Regina with food. It was a peace offering, an olive branch to them being more amicable.

 _"We're friends now, whether you like it or not."_ After combining their magic and defeating their first foe together. It was a solid step to being friends.

 _"Date me to make Hook jealous."_  Those faithful words that made them start dating, with all those soft touches and kisses not quite on lips but close enough.

 _"Sleep with me. It's a release. It doesn't have to be anything more."_ But it was more. It was so much more.

And Regina had been so wrapped up in her own emotions, that she hadn't noticed, hadn't even considered that Emma might actually love her back. That Emma didn't know how Regina felt and was trying to test the waters by offering all those absurd excuses.

"You idiot," and she's sobbing suddenly and uncontrollably. "Why didn't you say anything? All this time and not a single word. How was I to know?"

And Emma's crying now too. "I was afraid of losing you and then you said all those hateful things, and I didn't want to lose you more so I went with it. But it hurt, hurt so much not to have you that I lost you anyways."

"I've been in love with for so long and I was trying to move on and I wasn't...I wasn't over you but it was working and now you've come here and told me you wanted me all along and-"

Emma pulls the both of them into a hug and it quiets them both down. Regina clings and clings and feels all the edges where Emma is too thin, where she is wrong and not her Emma. Hook took all those parts of her. He took them and Regina is going to get them back.

"We need to talk," Emma murmurs into the softness of Regina's hair. "I want to know everything. I want the truth."

"And you owe me the same," Regina sniffles. Their hands only tighten on one another.

"I owe you so much more than that. I owe you the world." Emma's voice is reverent, sincere, and pained. And knowing Emma, she won't stop at anything until she brings it for Regina. "But first, I owe Hook a little visit."

They pull apart. Regina would be fool to stop the fires of determination and anger blazing in Emma's eyes. It's the first time they haven't looked vacant since the marriage. "Be careful, and if you need my help..."

"This is something I need to do on my own. He's controlled me for long enough. And I need to thank him for that and for the bruises he's given my flesh and my soul." And when Emma steps off the stoop, Regina doesn't worry for her and for their future, but for Hook's. Emma pissed off is not something to be taken lightly. Regina should know, she used to face down Emma's anger headfirst.

Regina waits in her house and sips on her scotch patiently, trying to temp down on the configuration of feelings reviving in her. She flashes back to that night, when everything imploded around them.

"Leave." Her voice was dead, chilling, words cutting like a knife. "I don't want you here anymore."

The declaration had come out of the blue and it left Emma staring at Regina with an open mouth. With her hands dropping down. She had been waiting for Regina in the foyer, red leather jacket still on. "What-what are you talking about?"

"I think it's obvious. This joke between us needs to end." Regina's body is stiff, unyielding.

"Joke?" Emma blusters, cheeks heating up. "You think this was all a joke?"

"What I think is that you were using me," Regina snaps out and now anger is bleeding through. It heats the air between them, makes their blood boil. Emma is becoming defensive and angry. "You were only using me to get back at Hook and frankly, I am tired of it. I am tired of being your little puppet. I will not yield to you anymore. I want you out of my house."

"I wasn't- I never intended for you to feel used-"

"The damage has been done, Ms. Swan. You are a despicable human being for what you did. I tried to be understanding but it only lent to you taking advantage of me and my kindness towards you. I will not be someone's whore. I won't. Go back to Hook. Go back to the mess you cannot handle. You two deserve each other."

Emma flounders, looks like she's drowning on land. "Regina- I truly-I'm sorry I-"

"What did I just tell you?" Regina's voice is low and harsh. "Get out of my house. Get out of my sight. I don't want to talk to you!" She points at the door and Emma flinches with the motion.

"I already said I didn't mean to make you feel like I was using you. I was only trying to-" Emma is begging, pleading for understanding.

"Save it, Ms. Swan. You've ruined what trust I had in you and it's over. I don't want to talk to you. I don't ever want to see you again."

Now Emma is falling, falling and lost. Her brows furrow. "I don't understand. What brought this on. This isn't you-" she attempts to approach Regina but the brunette slaps her hand away viciously. The slap resounds in the oppression of the mansion. It pinpoints their argument.

"Go back to Hook. He's the one you love. Stop playing around. Don't drag me into your childish whims anymore. I'm done."

"Regina," Emma begs. "You can't seriously be calling our friendship over-"

"And why shouldn't I? When it has been nothing but toxic."

Emma swallows harshly. "You can't really mean that, do you?"

Regina jerks her chin up, eyes dark. "I mean every word I say Ms. Swan. I'm sorry the truth isn't what you expected it to be, but honestly, how could you not expect me to get sick and tired of you? You're a pathetic excuse of a human and you're lucky I let you next to my son."

Emma's eyes grow hard. "I see. If that's how it is." She stiffens her shoulders, and knocks into Regina's shoulder as she's walking past.

Regina stays frozen in place. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out," she intones flatly. The slam of the door echoes throughout her house and causes one of her picture frames to fall off the wall. She doesn't even notice. She's followed her orders. She is an empty doll wanting for more orders, for someone to bend her limbs and manipulate her voice.

Regina's remembrances are cut short by a loud forced entry into her mansion. Glass twinkles and a grunt of exertion fills the air followed by a heavy thud. Regina follows the sound, wondering who it is. Her face sours as she looks on at the mess of a man that has broken into her house.

"What do you want Hook?" She takes a sip from her glass, apathetically leering down at him.

He hobbles, bent over, eyes glazed over, his hand dripping blood from where he cut it on the window. He's drunk and she can smell it from here. "Emma kicked you out of the house?" she asks, lofty in how she finally has Emma to herself now. She knows Hook has lost his grip on her, his toxic control gone.

"She hasn't done anything to me. And she won't because you won't be around to influence her anymore."

He whips a gun out from the recesses of his coat, straightening up.

He is a man who has nothing else to lose. And she is a woman who has everything yet to gain.

The glass drops from Regina's hand.

It takes Emma two hours to come back to Regina's mansion and when she does, she is greeted by a murder scene.


	5. The Last Tragedy

Regina's lying in ice. She has to be, because it's so cold that she can't feel her body, can't even move it. And when she opens her eyes she's lying in the middle of a tundra, snow fresh on her blazer, around her, under her, sucking her into it's white grasp. She lifts her head up, silence greeting her even as wind stirs the snow around her.

How odd.

She can't remember how she got here or what she was doing before to get here.

"You shouldn't stay here," a voice makes her head jerk in the other direction. Emma is standing there, red jacket over her shoulders except the color is so vivid it's dripping onto the snow, dripping onto Regina as she lies there, unable to move. Red drops splatter onto her clothing, onto her face. She winces at each drop that hits her with the force of a bullet.

"I-I can't leave," she gasps out, hurting when she talks. "I don't know how."

Emma kneels down at this, looks on at Regina before lifting up her thumb and rubbing away the blood on Regina's cheek. It only smears more and Emma grimaces.

"You can. You just have to try hard enough. Can you do that? Can you do that for me?"

"Anything. I would do anything for you," Regina says reverently.

"Good. Then wake up."

And Regina does. She gasps awake in strange surroundings.

She's not in her mansion where smoke and fire and blood and sweat intertwined as she fought for her life against the interloper in it. She attempts to sit up but winces in pain. There are bandages over her abdomen and that's where Hook got her before she dropped to the floor, curling up in pain and fingers digging into the ground as if she could draw strength from stained hardwood floors.

He tried to kill her. But had she killed him?

She hasn't killed anyone in a long time and to break that streak over trash like him rubs her wrong.

She glances around the hospital room. She's never been the one in the bed, and the gown is itchy on her skin. Makes her feel exposed. A blonde mop of hair is laid out at the foot of her covers.

"Emma." She breathes out, a fond smile on her face.

"Mom!" Henry startles her, eyes wide and nearly dropping the coffee he brought up. "Mom!" he cries once more and rushes to her from the doorway. They embrace, she stroking his hair and he careful of her injury. "I was so worried."

"Everything is okay, darling," she murmurs into his hair.

Their joy wakes up Emma, who blinks with bleary eyes before she gets up as well. "Regina. You're okay." Her voice is fragile, as if she speaks too loudly and Regina will collapse back into being unwell.

"Yes," she nods her head and in two strides Emma is by her side also hugging her. And this, this feels so nice. Hugging like the family they are meant to be.

"Hook told me everything," Emma says, voice harsh.

"So I didn't kill him," Regina surmises in amusement.

"No, you didn't. You just knocked him around badly."

"The least he deserves."

"I agree." Emma pulls away. "Henry, go run off to grandma in the lobby. Me and your mother need to talk about something."

Henry is reluctant to go but he knows better than to argue. He's just happy to see his parents back together, talking and in close quarters like they have't been in months. He scurries off.

Emma closes the door for added privacy and tucks her hands into her back pockets. She puffs out her cheeks and Regina knows the look. It's one Emma employs when she is piecing her words together carefully. Something she doesn't do often but something often enough around Regina that she's noticed it.

"Why, why didn't you tell me what Hook did?"

"I tried to. You weren't exactly receptive to me."

"He-he magicked you, took control of you! And then he also attacked you, snuck into your mansion several months before to hurt you not to mention this latest incident. Why didn't you say something?" Concern drips from Emma's voice, only thinly covering the accusations there.

"I didn't want to ruin his image for you."

Emma freezes at that, incredulous. "Ruin his image for me?" her voice is shrill and impossibly high.

Regina feels small but she forces the words to her tongue. "Aren't you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?" Emma blusters.

"Because I made Hook be mean, made him dark, made him hurt you again and you don't deserve someone like that-"

Emma cuts her off, voice hard yet soft at the same time. "You didn't make him anything that he never wasn't in the first place."

But Regina isn't entirely convinced. She knows Emma may be mad at Hook, but they had at least had a friendship between them and now with his image ruined- if Regina had never meddled in Emma's love affairs they could have still been happily together in their white picket fence house.

"You didn't ruin anything. I did.  _He did._ " Emma's eyes swear vengeance. And Regina feels a little bit better.

"What are you going to do with him?"

"Either lock him up, or banish him to another realm."

"Finally using your princess privileges?" Regina quirks up her lips and Emma considers her, her look, before running a thumb over her cheek in a comforting gesture just like in that weird dream Regina had had. "No one gets to hurt you anymore. You don't deserve that. You've hurt so much already and I swear, I will do right by you."

With those sentiments exposed to the air, to Regina's heart, Emma strides out, intent on hunting Hook down. And Regina, tired of blank walls and the smell of hospital antiseptic, rips out the IV's in her arms and focuses her magic into a ball of energy. Her wound melts away and painless now, she poofs out of the hospital.

She needs to make a special stop first.

She has something she must recover. "Archie," she smiles when she pops into the office. He's there, enjoying his coffee, and spits it out when he sees her. "Jesus, don't scare me like that," he chides, flushing as he hastily attempts to wipe at the spray of dark liquid now on his documents. She waves a hand and the stains disappear.

"I'm here for what I left behind," she announces grandly.

This doesn't stir him into immediate action. "I'm happy to see you're doing better. Hook really did a number on you."

"And I should have killed him for that," she snaps out, but not in any real anger because she knows Emma has this, that she will fix this situation. That Regina's anger can pale in comparison to Emma's on occasion, and this is such an occasion. Nothing Regina has planned for Hook could triumph what Emma has.

"But you didn't. And I'm proud of you for that," he smiles at her.

Regina rolls her eyes at this. She had no intention of murdering him, no matter the case. She wasn't going to break her clean streak over some gutter snipe like him. "Can I have my heart back?"

"What brought this on? Do you feel you can handle it?" he asks, not moving to get it from where she knows he has it stored in this room.

Regina squirms impatiently. She doesn't want to dwell on feelings right now, not when things are finally going right for her. When Emma finally admitted her feelings to her. And Regina doesn't want to be the heartless one in this relationship. She wants to give Emma all of her heart if Emma's giving Regina all of hers.

But Archie only waits patiently and she huffs and sits down, smoothing out her skirt. "Emma and I had a talk. We're on even grounds right now."

"And?"

"And I think things might be looking up for me. I think we've both realized the error of our ways."

"I sure hope so," but it's not a sentence imbued with foreboding but hope. With good will. "And I also hope the two of you might come to therapy together."

"Couples therapy? I don't think Emma needs it."

"Emma has been to therapy with me before," and that explains that day when Emma intruded and seemed so confused to have seen Regina in that same room, during her session presumably.

Regina can't imagine the tough woman ever needing therapy. She's too stubborn for her own good.

"I suppose. If it's what Emma wants," Regina nods because she wonders what Emma could have talked about in those sessions. Could it be about her martial problems with Hook? Or could it be about her love for Regina that she had suffered and kept buried?

Archie gets up, procures the box for Regina and she holds it lightly in her grasp, feeling the thump thump of her heart wildly beating through it. She's finally going to be whole again.

Heart correctly in place, she links up to join with Emma outside who proudly informs her Hook has been locked up and is awaiting trial for attempted manslaughter. "Not before I busted his nose good," she adds, anger haunting her eyes.

"Let's forget about him for a while," Regina proposes. With her heart beating in her chest she feels all gooey and warm and wants nothing more than to kiss Emma, to live inside her hugs.

"Yea, we got a lot to talk about-"

"I don't mean the talking," Regina says, pulling Emma closer to her by her jacket. Emma smiles down warmly at her and slowly their lips come together in a soft and gentle but loving kiss.

It has them smiling and laughing and warm and happy. And it feels right. It finally feels like Emma is completely Regina's and Regina is completely Emma's. Unobstructed.

It feels like home.

 


End file.
